Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
