Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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