Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
