Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
