They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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