She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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