ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
