We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
pray to the hookup gods
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
