I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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