omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
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started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
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Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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