I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
