god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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