my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
