You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
