dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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