guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize