he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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