East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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