just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.