I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Randomize
