I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
