You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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