Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
