There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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