that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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