I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
