if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
