if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?