Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money