How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm super disappointed in my clit.