I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
