You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
