I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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