He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
