I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
