Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
