At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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