please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
