Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
