I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
