I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
