Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
