im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
