His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
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Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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