He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
