I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
