ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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