He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
