I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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