I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Randomize
