i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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