I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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