ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
