Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
