butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
