don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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