Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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