I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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