ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
