you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
