I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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