apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
