SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize