Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
