...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
