did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
