is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
where are you?
Hypothermia
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
