Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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