wanna go halves on a baby?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
