I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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