Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i will never coherently bang her
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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