Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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